#dazai driving

[dazai-lillia]

🩹 Driving;

- Dazai is a horrible driver and has gotten his license taken away so many times that now he can't get a new one anytime soon.

- Dazai has hit more people than he has ran over, but he has never gotten into a car accident somehow.

- When going on cases with Kunikida, Kunikida is always driving because he won't let Dazai drive.

- After Atsushi lets Dazai drive once, Atsushi doesn't get in a car that Dazai is driving anymore because he's scared Dazai will accidentally kill them both.

- Dazai has probably tried to drift and failed.

- Dazai wouldn't drink and drive, he probably either drinks at home so he has no where to go or at a bar that he can easily walk to.

- Dazai wears a seatbelt most of the time, he wouldn't wear one for short distances or that he needs to get out of the car quickly.

[lotus-pear]

partners in crime or smt idk

[etrevil]

these motherfuckers are just one-upping each other every chance they get, even striking the same pose 😭

[pleucas]

most feared duo in yokohama

[yayll]

~ a little something about Dazai and his tantrums ~

"... Hmph. I hope you crash this car and we both die."

The moody brunet mutters under his breath as he looks out of the car window, his arms crossed over his chest, refusing to look at you. He was awfully cute whenever he did this, and oh so vexing at the same time. You learned to acclimate to this very early into your relationship with him.

"What? All I said was that I was going to be driving us, Osamu!"

Your laugh is light hearted as you focus on the road ahead, dismissing his whiny behavior for another one of his... Melodramatic performances, his co-workers once called it. He finally turns to glare at you, but a wicked glint in his narrowed eyes betrays him... You can tell he's more unserious than anything. Playful, even. And besides, he would never actually be upset with you, he just can't stop thinking up schemes to make you roll your eyes at him. Your smile alone makes his thoughts impure, shame on you!

"Yeah, well... I feel dehumanized! overlooked! neglected..." He feigns offense, sighing heavily as he slouches into the passenger seat. He places a bandaged arm over his face, groaning softly but still side eyeing you to check if you're looking at him or not.

"You do that all on your own, silly."

"Excuse me? I'm expressing my grievances and you're calling me silly? Oh, so that's what this is really about. You don't love me anymore! What a cruel beauty you are..."

He gasps, now burying his face into the crook of his elbow, pretending to weep as he mumbles incoherent nonsense about how much you mistreat him. In actuality, he was giddy as hell. You park the car, and turn to face him, a coy smile flashes on your lips.

"Nobody said anything about not loving you. Now, what can I do to fix this, Mm?"

He lifts his head up, suddenly composed and shrugging his shoulders as if nothing ever happened, speaking in a matter of fact voice that somehow deepened.

"Well, definitely don't let me drive. I don't even have a license. I'd kill us in an instant."

"... Then why argue about it?!"

"Because you look so beautiful when you're yelling at me. And you make me feel alive. Anddd, because I'm bored~"

He flashes you a cheeky grin, it's dreamy and sickening. His eyes twinkle with mischief as he leans over the seat and flicks away a stray hair from your face. Dazai then taps the tip of your nose, slowly dragging his finger down to your plush bottom lip, gently flipping it over to expose your teeth. The pad of his finger gently swirls against your canines, and finally, retreats... He knows there's a time and place for his worship prodding. His eyes travel back up to yours, and you can swear they look darker than usual. If only the Port Mafia could see what became of the Demon Prodigy... A new man reborn! A man who loves!

The rest of the day is spent with you indulging Dazai, something along the lines of 'reparations' is what he calls it. Only he knows how much it means to him that you can handle him during his calculated outbursts... or rather harmless tests to prove you won't leave him at the first sign of trouble. He needs you to be in it for the longhaul, just like he is. It's deceptive, but no one has to know! He just loves you and these are simply counter measures. You'd probably call him selfish, but as long as you call him at all, he doesn't give a shit. Because in the grand scheme of things, he really can't drive, and you two are inevitably endgame.

You're the ball, and he's your chain.

[evilkaeya]

As much as I love fics where dazai drives like a madman and everyone else in the car ends up with heart problems, I like to think that chuuya is probably unaffected by it. In fact, I think he loves it when dazai drives.

Imagine the pm and ada on a joint mission and it somehow ends in skk and sskk in a car together with dazai driving.

sskk are in the backseat and while Atsushi looks visibly mortified and scared for his life, Akutagawa is more subtle about it. He looks almost normal. Until you really pay attention and notice the clenched knuckles resting on his thighs and his eyes twitching.

Their mentors are completely unaware of their state. Dazai has a stupid grin on his face as he drives, determined to break every traffic law ever and Chuuya has his head out of the window, looking very much like a kid whose parents agreed to get mcdonalds.

"Take the next right!" The mafioso yells and Dazai swerves hard, missing the fire hydrant by an inch and Atsushi swears, swears, his heart stopped for 5 seconds. Chuuya hollers in excitement.

Akutagawa considers breaking the door and jumping out using rashoumon.

[pebblul]

The ADA’s driving situation is so funny to me when I think about it, like-

Dazai is such a bad driver him even being near the car greatly increases your chances of crashing.

Atushi can’t drive for shit because he was stuck in the orphanage until he was 18.

Ranpo doesn’t even know how to ride a damn train and is so bad at navigating I can’t tell if he’s bullshitting or not.

Kenji probably didn’t even know what a car was until he joined the Agency.

Kunikida can maybe drive but he’s probably going way too fast at any given time regardless of the situation.

I don’t even want to think about what would happen if you put one of the Tanizaki siblings behind the wheel, especially if they were both in the car at the same time.

Have you ever seen Fukuzawa in the same room as a car?

And Yosano is yet to be determined.

So that leaves Kyouka. The 14 year old child as the Agency’s main driver when something comes up. And even she’s kinda reckless.

[originalartblog]

1 year and 4 months later: ANIME EDITION (x)

[bananana2217]

my hands moved on their own and these two spawned in oopsies

[cigwlp]

once more to see you

based off my absolute favourite bsd art (it drives me crazy)

[naetles]

[mxxldy]

Wheyyy finally did it

[taireierre]

double black

[pleucas]

irresponsible illegal getaway drive

[memzyyy]

this caused me a mental breakdown. i got real lazy at the end so deal w it.

say anything and my foot will be going into your ribcage (not clickbait) (real)

CONTENT: voyeurism (? roommates are present but arent written for) Exhibitionism, rough (?) hate sex ig?? praise n allat i cba to write anymore😭 Heathers reference :3 if u find it ill snog you 💋

NSFW DOWN BELOW

he is your enemy, and unfortunately you’ve been stuck with him and a few other men in a dorm for the rest of the year.

He’s a shameless man and will walk naked around the dorm and his only excuse is, “well its my space.” Which is an ass excuse in your opinion since he shares the so called “his space.” and plus it lowkey gets on your nerves since you cannot have friends or anyone over because hes just straight up butt booty naked around the dorm.

But at least its not a sight for sore eyes as his body is chisled like a greek God, why is he chisled like a sack of hot stuff you ask? well he works out and is a Quaterback and is the smartest guy on the football team, which is kind of like being the tallest dwarf.

But besides all of that, you had been given a box of chocolates, they were quite thin but there was a lot of them so you really didnt mind. Your roommates were in their rooms, well, other than him, mans was casually in his birthday suit as usual, so when you walked into your dorm with a box of chocolates his fatass asked what you had, and of course you replied with “some chocolates.” and of course his big backed self asked for some so you sat down on the

sofa and gave him one, eating some yourself before retreating to your room.

20-30 minutes later you leave your room, and Kai and your other roommates there,

him still being naked, but with a rock hard cock asking what the fuck you just gave him.

You read the label on the chocolates, **aphrodisiac chocolates** Oh, cheers for that, making it fuckin small writing in the corner, fuck you aphrodisiac company hope you stub your toe.

Anyway you’re stood there, your pussy glistening with arousal, some making it down your thighs. you were **DRIPPIN.** You told him what is was and he just responded with; “Great. awesome even, now im stuck here with a hard cock.” okay? you think, what did he want you to do? your in the same situation-

you were pinned under him, his hard dick fucking into you, his cock pistoning all up into your sweetspots, dragging his fat cock up and down your walls and you were loud, the ravenous nature of your coupling made it so you couldn’t do anything but take it, poor baby :( (CONSENTUALLY)

he gunts and groans as he pounds into you relentlessly, sweat dripping from his muscular torso onto your skin. He leans down, his lips brushing against your ear as he growls, “Fuck, you're tight..."

His hands grip your hips hard enough to bruise as he slams into you again and again, the sofa creaking beneath you both. The room fills with the lewd sounds of flesh meeting flesh and your cries of pleasure.

"Look at that," he taunts between thrusts "my angel is taking my cock like a pro."

his words send a shiver through you, his dirty talk only adding to your arousal.

“Shut the fuck up.” you snapped, but you couldnt help but enjoy the feeling of his cock pistoning into you laughs darkly, the sound sending vibrations through your body as he continues to rut into you. "What's wrong, angel? Can't handle a little dirty talk while I'm wrecking your cunt?"

He pulls back slightly, just enough to slide a hand between your bodies and rub your clit in firm circles.

"Now, are you going to cum on my cock like a good girl, or do I need to work you harder?" He punctuates his question with another deep, powerful thrust, his pelvis grinding against your clit as he does so.

he pulls back so only his tip remains in you, but with a particularly forceful slam of his hips,he buries himself to the hilt inside you. He holds still for a moment, letting you feel every inch of his throbbing length stretching your walls.

"Feel that, angel? This is all yours..." He punctuates his words with a series of short, sharp thrusts, his cockhead rubbing insistently against your sweet spots, making the coil in your tummy get tighter.

a smirk playing on his lips as he continues to fuck into you. “Look at you, getting all sloppy and desperate for my cock." he hits that one very special spot in you that makes your eyes roll back into your head and makes you cum on his cock, he pulls out with a pop before sitting up and leaning against the sofa, panting, congratulations, you had solved the problem.

[mackerel22]

Kunikida: Why is Dazai late, again?

Atsushi, writing Dazai's report: He said he's going through an existential crisis and won't get up of his futon cause he doesn't know what's real anymore. 😅

Kunikida: 😡